


molecules of pie

by fourhorsemen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baking, Bunker Fluff, Characters Reading Fanfiction, Charlie Ships It, Dean Loves Pie, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Domestic Dean, Domestic Fluff, Everyone likes Dean's food a lot, Flustered Dean, Happy Canon, Housewife Dean, Kiss the Cook, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, Pie, Sam likes Dean's food a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-09 00:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1961199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourhorsemen/pseuds/fourhorsemen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dean is a housewife, Sam worries about his weight, Charlie reads fanfiction and Cas just wants to kiss the cook. </p><p>(Domestic Bunker Fluff, this is now a tag. Why? Because I said so.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	molecules of pie

**Author's Note:**

> I write a lot of fluff that's centered around/takes place in the Men of Letters Bunker. Yeah, its a thing now. Domestic Bunker Fluff.
> 
> update/edit: LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!! I saw this perfect 'kiss the cook' fanart. Here's a link, now go reblog it 5 million times: destiel-art.tumblr.com/post/87808734523 
> 
> I found this weeks after this fic was written, so while it's not inspiration, it is still super awesome.

“Hey Dean? Can you cook us one of your burgers?” Sam said and looked at Dean imploringly. Dean huffed in annoyance and crossed his arms.

“Do I look like a friggin' housewife?” he snapped and glared at Sam for good measure. Sam decided it probably wasn’t a good idea to tell him that he did in fact look like a housewife with _that_ kind of body language.

“Aw come on! Charlie’s visiting!” Sam whined. He wasn’t above using his puppy dog eyes if it came to it (yeah he knew what effect that had on people and shamelessly used it to his advantage). Dean’s expression was unchanged. Sam sighed. Time to pull out the big guns. Sam widened his eyes so they went slightly watery and looked Dean dead on and he could see the exact moment his brother’s resolve crumbled. Hell, he should probably be ashamed for using such a childish tactic when he was a 31 year old man with friggin _stubble._ Dean’s burgers were just really good alright?

“Fine,” Dean said and turned to walk into the kitchen.

“Will you bake us a couple cupcakes too? For dessert?” Sam shouted after him hopefully.

“Don’t push it!” Dean yelled back. That meant he would, score one for Sam Winchester.

\-----

Dean was just taking out the apple pie he’d put into the oven this morning to make space for the batch of cupcakes he just made – the things he does for Sam jesus – when he heard a fluttering of wings. Right, Cas. He’d managed to ‘recharge’ his stolen mojo somehow and now he could teleport again. Obviously Dean was happy about that, but it wasn’t like he was gonna admit it – secret angel boyfriend or not.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel said as solemnly as always. Solemnity which was apparently all a ruse because the moment Dean turned with a “Heya, Cas” on his lips he was practically ambushed with a friggin apron of all things. An apron that said “ _Kiss the Cook_ ” in bright bold lettering. When finally Dean could see something besides a disgustingly large pair of cartoon lips, he looked at Cas and saw that there was a small smirk playing about his lips. Bastard.

“I got you something,” he said with all the formality he usually possessed.

“Yeah… I can see that,” Dean replied warily.

“I’d like you to put it on, I believe it is customary to wear aprons when cooking or baking,” Castiel informed him with all the air of someone who knew exactly what they were talking about.

“It isn’t customary to wear a polka dotted one that says “kiss the cook,” Cas,” Dean said sternly. Castiel just tilted his head and stared at Dean and then looked at the apron pointedly. Dean refused to budge. Castiel sighed.

“Dean, you do not have one. You constantly complain of your clothes getting dirty and yet when I bring you one you refuse to accept it as the helpful gesture it is,” Castiel sighed exasperatedly. Dean fidgeted uncomfortably. See, that was the thing. The Bunker had a huge wardrobe with dead people robes but he had searched the entire place and not found a single apron in the place. With such a sizeable kitchen and two large ovens you’d expect there to be oven mitts and aprons. Turns out the Men of Letters were either too manly to bake, or wear aprons while doing it. Dean had managed to find a dusty pair of oven mitts in a drawer but an apron was nowhere to be seen.

“Fine,” he sighed and yanked the apron out of Castiel’s hands. He pulled it on over his head and reached back to tie the strings – all the while grimacing at the atrocity that was now covering his torso.

When the strings were finally tied – which took embarrassingly long to do and Castiel was absolutely no help – Dean looked up at Castiel expecting some sort of “Thank you,  Dean” when suddenly Castiel was a lot closer than he had been before. Dean’s brows furrowed in confusion but before he could open his mouth it got a bit… occupied. Dean backed into the counter as Castiel kissed him, mouth opening and sealing right over Dean’s. Dean kissed back mindlessly for a moment and then pushed Castiel back.

“Wha- what was that? Not that I didn’t enjoy it I mean, but that was a bit sudden – even for you,” Dean stuttered and closed his eyes in annoyance as he felt his cheeks heat up. Seriously was that never gonna stop happening? It’s not like it was any different kissing Castiel – kissing was kissing after all. Screw the angel for constantly getting under his skin.

“I was merely following the instructions on your apron,” Castiel said in his normal voice but he totally failed at suppressing the smile pulling at his lips. Dean glared at him – the dick had been setting him up this whole time, he should’ve known! Castiel stared right back at him and grinned – having given up on suppressing his smile. Damn, ever since the angel had developed a sense of humour, Dean could barely ever predict what he’d do next.

Dean shook his head in exasperation and turned to the pie that was on the counter. It was a bit burnt at the edges but it certainly smelled good. Dean smiled proudly - he was gonna need a second opinion. Hell, since Cas was already here – why not? He cut a slice from the pie and put it on a plate with a fork.

“Cas, try this,” he said and shoved at the angel. He looked surprised and Dean took a moment to smile smugly at the fact that he could still surprise the angel as well. Castiel tentatively picked up the fork and took a bite of the steaming hot pie – it wasn’t as if he would burn his tongue for fuck’s sake; he was an angel. He chewed, swallowed and put down the fork but his expression gave absolutely nothing away. Dean looked at him expectantly and when no response was forthcoming he rolled his eyes.

“Well? How was it?” he asked.

“It was…” Castiel hesitated and Dean frowned – had he messed up? It smelled good enough… but before he could think further on it Castiel replied.

“It was delicious, Dean” he said and smiled slightly at Dean. Dean grinned. He knew it! Nothing that smelt that good could possibly taste bad. He picked up the plate with the remaining pie that Castiel hadn’t ate and took a bite. The taste of apple and cinnamon exploded over his tongue and he moaned. Damn, it was even better than he’d thought,

“Damn straight, it’s delicious,” he said proudly and Castiel smiled.

\-----

“Sam! Try this!” Dean said as he came rushing into what passed as the living room in the bunker. Sam and Charlie were sitting at the long conference table discussing the latest season of Game of Thrones when Dean came bursting in. Sam turned to look at him and gaped. He didn’t know what expression Charlie was wearing but it couldn’t have been too different from Sam’s judging by Dean’s confused look.

“What?” he asked.

“Kiss the cook? Dean, really?” Sam said incredulously, his eyebrows having reached where no eyebrows have gone before. Dean flushed and scowled.

“Cas brought it. Dick thought it was funny,” he grumbled and looked anywhere but at Sam. Sam smirked.

“It is funny,” he pointed out innocently.

“Shuddup,” Dean snapped. Charlie let out a snicker and Dean snapped to look at her so fast Sam was afraid he might’ve gotten whiplash. Charlie instantly shut up and bit her lip to suppress the grin that she really wasn’t doing a very good job suppressing.

“Whatever,” Dean huffed and then lit up with excitement when he actually remembered what he came bursting in for. Which turned out to be two slices of pie that smelled extremely, _extremely_ good. Sam’s stomach rumbled and he flushed but it looked like no one had noticed (although Charlie looked at him strangely for a minute). Damn, if Dean kept this up Sam would put on a couple fifty pounds in no time.

“Try it! It’s apple pie, freshly baked,” Dean said enthusiastically and practically shoved the plates of pie at them. Sam groaned (mostly for show) and grumbled.

“You’re gonna make me grow fat,” Sam said.

“You’re already fat,” Dean countered.

“Yeah well, so are you, _cook_!” Sam said petulantly and inwardly grimaced at how he sounded like how he did when he was fourteen.

“Bitch,” Dean said fondly.

“Jerk,” Sam replied without missing a beat. Charlie looked back and forth at them and grinned.

“Wow, it’s just like the books, this is like breaking the fourth wall – seeing the characters interact for real!” she gushed and both Sam and Dean groaned at the mention of those stupid books. Then, Dean remembered his mission and _tch_ -ed at them disapprovingly.

“Come on! Try the pie already!” he said. Sam bit into it and practically moaned. Jesus Christ, Dean was really getting the hang of this. He should probably open a bakery by now – cupcakes, pie what more could a man ask for? Even Charlie’s eyes looked glazed over when she bit into the pie but they found out soon enough that they were glazed for more than one reason.

“Domestic Dean,” she said in awe, “people could write fanfics about this!” Dean stiffened in alarm and Sam couldn’t help but cringe at that too – if the books were bad, the fanfics were easily ten times worse. Sam sincerely hoped Charlie wasn’t a Wincest shipper or else they might have to disown her.

“They still write those? I thought they stopped publishing after Swan Song …” Dean said worriedly and Sam’s eyes widened. If they had kept publishing, Sam was going to freaking hunt Chuck down himself and kill him if he wasn’t already dead.

“Oh no! Carver Edlund stopped publishing alright,” Charlie said and she sounded almost disappointed. Sam shuddered. It would never stop being weird that their only actual _friend_ (who was still alive) had _read their lives._ Sam sighed in relief. At least there were no more books being published. The few years after he fell into the Pit had been decidedly worse for his character development; Sam really didn’t want to think about people reading about him when he was soulless. He frowned. It still wracked him with guilt to think of that. He shook his head clear of thoughts when he heard Charlie speak next.

“But that doesn’t mean people stopped writing fanfics though – there are even more now!” She said gleefully. Dean grimaced and cleared his throat. Was he thinking what Sam was thinking…?

“Uhm… W-Wincest fanfics?” Dean said awkwardly and cringed the moment the ‘pairing name’ as Becky had so kindly informed him left his mouth.

“Uh-huh. Oh and there’s another pairing now – Destiel,” she said equally cheerfully. Sam choked. It couldn’t be what he thought it was. Dean seemed to figure that out at exactly the same time because his eyes became the size of saucers.

“Des- Destiel, you mean Castiel and me?!” he shouted. Charlie burst into laughter at Dean’s horrified expression and Sam snorted.

“Yeah well, that one’s actually true,” he said. Charlie and Dean both snapped to look at him at the same time. Charlie’s reaction was understandable, but Dean really? He honestly didn’t know Sam had figured it out by now? What the hell.

“Wow, you really thought I didn’t know?” Sam asked Dean disbelievingly.

“What- how’d you find out?” Dean practically screeched.

“Oh come on! You guys are so obvious. I mean okay, Cas does have a tendency to stare but I kinda realized something was up when you started to stare right back at him,” Sam said and raised his eyebrow at Dean incredulously. Seriously? Did he think Sam was _that_ oblivious?

“But- but” Dean sputtered and Charlie looked between them with something akin to wonder. Sam thought she was probably 5 seconds away from taking out her phone and filming them.

“Fine, even if I _didn’t_ know. “Kiss the cook” would have been a pretty big clue,” Sam said.

“That was a joke!” Dean argued.

“Well, when you came in your hair was all ruffled like you made out in the kitchen or something – gross by the way – and then you blushed the moment you mentioned Cas and that pretty much sealed the deal,” Sam pointed out. Dean continued to gawk at him, his mouth opening and closing like a fish and even Charlie looked impressed at Sam’s observational skills. Sam smirked.

“What- what are you now? Sherlock Holmes?” Dean growled. Sam threw up his hands in aggravation.

“Fine! You have a friggin hickey on your neck and you haven’t been to a bar to pick someone up in months!” Sam all but snapped. Dean’s eyes widened comically and Charlie gasped and strained her neck to look at the side of Dean’s neck. Dean slapped a hand to his neck and flushed red.

“I thought that faded,” he mumbled pathetically and Sam looked at him smugly.

“Alright, you win,” he grumbled and Charlie nodded in impressed acknowledgement of Sam’s superb observational skills – if he did say so himself.

“At least tell me how the pie is,” Dean muttered. Sam gaped at him.

“What you didn’t already know from our reactions? Wow you really are oblivious – it’s awesome!” Sam said and Charlie agreed wholeheartedly; nodding her head so furiously Sam was afraid it’d fall right off. It was Dean’s turn to smirk smugly.

“Good. Even Cas liked it,” he said proudly – at which point there was a fluttering of wings.

“Speak of the devil,” Dean said but refused to even look at Castiel. Charlie and Sam shared a knowing look. Castiel looked vaguely confused.

“Dean, why would you be talking about Lucifer?” he asked. Dean sighed and looked at Cas fondly – Sam inwardly cheered because _hell yeah_ , he was always right.

“It’s an expression Cas,” he said and rolled his eyes. Castiel nodded suddenly as if suddenly it all made sense.

“You required my assistance,” he asked. Dean and Sam both frowned in confusion.

“Uh…no?” Sam said thinking it was some sort of trick question.

“You mentioned my name many times,” he pointed out and Sam chuckled.

“Right, that’s cuz we were talking about you and Dean’s totally not secret relationship,” Sam said. Castiel nodded in understanding and did not say anything further. Dean looked at him and gaped for the fifth time in so many minutes.

“What you’re not even surprised?” he asked Cas.

“No, you tend to underestimate Sam’s intelligence sometimes, Dean,” he said simply and Dean scowled in annoyance.

“Whose side are you on?” he muttered. Castiel just tilted his head like he usually did when faced with too many of Dean’s antics.

“Whoah, I mean I think it honestly didn’t hit me till now that you two are actually – you know – together,” Charlie breathed and it seemed like she was in a constant state of wonderment whenever she watched the Winchesters and Castiel interact – _like she was comparing everything to the books,_ Sam thought in irritation. Suddenly, Charlie giggled.

“You guys should read Destiel fanfics to each other– that’d made for some pretty kinky phone se—” before Charlie could continue Dean cut her off.

“Alright! That’s enough,” Dean said and nervously glanced at Castiel who now looked incredibly curious. Charlie looked eager to say more about these ‘Destiel’ fanfics and Sam wasn’t so keen on hearing that either.

“So! Cas what’d you think of Dean’s pie?” Sam said and winced when he realized it sounded like a really badly veiled euphemism. Thankfully, Dean didn’t notice though Charlie did snicker a bit.

“It was… interesting,” Castiel conceded.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Just a coupla minutes ago you said it was delicious!” Dean said indignantly and Sam made a no doubt pained expression when he realized they were probably about to be subjected to a lover’s spat. ‘ _Not a housewife’ my ass_ , Sam thought. At least Charlie seemed to be enjoying herself.

“I’m sure it was, Dean. However, due to my being an angel, I could taste every molecule. That tends to feel unpleasant,” Cas said ever so bluntly. Shit, Dean looked like he was about to explode… or stomp his feet like a toddler which turned out to be exactly what he did.

“You know what? Screw you!” he said and stormed off. Castiel looked hopelessly confused and turned to look at them.

“Did I say something wrong?” he asked. Charlie looked at him sympathetically and Sam cleared his throat.

“Hate to break it to you Cas but I’m pretty sure Dean’s gonna withhold sex now,” Sam said. Castiel looked at him in alarm. Sam tried not to think about what it probably meant when Castiel looked forlornly in the direction Dean had walked off to and quickly followed (no doubt to apologize).


End file.
